Plato’s Phaedrus in emails – email 3

 

Lysias combines general observations about lovers and non-lovers with direct appeals to the boy.

He observes:

“One might think lovers preferable to non-lovers, for a lover is willing to do anything to please his beloved, even to harm those he loved before. But this only means that the lover will set greater store by the loved-one of tomorrow than by that of today, and will do harm to the old love if required by the new.

Under the compulsion of love, the lover neglects his own affairs and damages his own interests; he is ready to gratify his beloved while arousing the dislike of everyone else. The lover himself admits that when he is in love, he is not in his right mind; knowing that he is wrong in his mind, he says that he is unable to control himself. When he comes to his senses, how can he approve of the promises he made to the boy when he was out of his mind?

How can it be right to trust himself to one afflicted with such a malady? How can one give away the thing so precious to a man so sick?

The non-lover is master of himself, free of afflictions that bedevil the lover. He bestows his benefits on the boy with an eye to his own interests.”

He appeals to the boy:

“If you were to choose the best out of those who are in love with you, your choice would be only from a few. But if you choose the man most commendable to you from the others, your choice will be from many.

If you are afraid of public opinion, and would avoid condemnation, it may be expected that a lover will be eager to talk about his successes, but the non-lover will prefer what is best rather than shine in the eyes of others.

You will become a better man if you listen to me rather than to a lover. For lovers commend anything you say or do, even when it is wrong, because they are afraid to offend you, and because their judgement is weakened by their passion; Eros makes this happen. But if you listen to me, I shall have intercourse with you with an eye not to present pleasure, but also to the benefit which is to come, because I am not overcome by love, but master of myself.”